How to do The Work of Byron Katie?

First, write down your stressful thoughts on a Judge Your Neighbor Worksheet. Then, question every thought, one at a time, to find out if it is true. Many people are amazed to see how many untruths they are believing, i.e. beliefs that differ from reality and thus give them a hard time.

Don't let your mind answer the questions. Rather, take the questions in and let the answer arise from within you. If you start from a biased point of view, do The Work of Byron Katie with motive or think you already know the solution to your problem, your answers to the questions will most likely be distorted by your inner wishes. That way you can't experience the full potential of The Work of Byron Katie.

The following description is an introduction. You'll find detailed information in Katie's book, "Loving What Is", in the Little Book, a free excerpt from Loving What Is or at www.thework.com.

Take the following steps:

Fill in a Judge Your Neighbor Worksheet. Write about someone you haven't yet forgiven one hundred percent. Please don't write about yourself. Use short, simple sentences. Don't censor yourself, don't hold back, try to fully experience the anger or pain as if the situation were occurring right now. Allow yourself to be critical and petty.

Now take the first sentence on your worksheet, e.g. "My spouse doesn't listen to me" and ask yourself the following questions:

Is it true?
Wait for the answer from within you.
Can you absolutely know that it's true?
Can you absolutely know that your spouse doesn't listen to you, even if they don't seem to? Take in the question and wait for the answer.
How do you react when you believe that thought?
What happens, when you want to tell your spouse something and they don't seem to listen? You think "My spouse doesn't listen to me!" Do you experience rage, anger, frustration? Do you give them "the look"? Do you try to manipulate them in any other way? How does it feel to react that way? Does that thought bring peace or stress into your life? Be still and listen to your answer from within.
Who would you be without the thought?
Close your eyes, picture yourself in the presence of your spouse. Now look at them without the thought "My spouse doesn't listen to me", even if it's only for one moment. What do you see?

Now turn around your sentence and find three genuine examples of how the turnaround is as true or truer than the original statement. The examples you find may look small and insignificant, that's ok. The important thing is that you give genuine examples from your life. This is the first step towards freedom. There may be one or more turnarounds. The sentence "My spouse doesn't listen to me" turns around to

My spouse does listen to me.
Example: Yes, he listens to me when we talk about the kids. His answers are to the point.
I don't listen to my spouse.
Example: Yes, many times I'm thinking about something else when he tells me about his exhausting day in the office. I even make some "understanding noises" to make him think I'm listening.
I don't listen to myself.
Example: When I'm sitting in the living room in the evening and notice I'm thirsty. Many times I don't get me a glass of water because I'm too lazy to get up and make my way to the kitchen. Then I don't listen to my needs.

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